When You Say Yes...What Are You Saying No To?

Read the title of this blog post again.
Now slower.
Think about it.
What did you come up with?

That question was asked to good friend of mine who has a similar problem many of us seem to suffer from and that, my friends, is the ability to say no.
This question has literally changed my entire outlook on saying yes or no to certain jobs, social events, personal choices and on and on I go.

When you say yes, what are you saying to no to?
Are you saying no to:
Quiet time in prayer?
Time with your children?
Time with your spouse?
Time with family
Rest?
Healthy eating?
Working out?
Stress free days?
A good book?

I said yes to the duck face and no to looking good haha

Sometimes I say no :
Owning my own business has been a legit exercise in time management and the ability to say no. Sometimes, I DO have to say no to good things like a few social events here and there or a good movie at midnight or morning coffee with friends to get some work done in the studio.  I have also learned when to say yes to those things.

Gotta find your balance:
Everyone has their own way to balance these things, but mine has certainly been learning to say no even when I know I might disappoint a friend or perhaps turn away a photo shoot because I need time with my kids.   I see some people literally run after EVERYTHING they are asked to.  Committees, sports teams, every single birthday party known to mankind, dinners, photo shoots etc.  These aren't necessarily bad things, but sometimes they are taking away from the other things we need to being saying yes to.

I said yes to waterfalls and no to work for a day.

Goodbye Social Media (for a bit)
I have also learned to put the phone down and read a book.  I read an entire 450 page novel last week after putting my phone away for about 4 days.   Go figure.

Fitness:

It's always been important to me. I took a month off because I had seriously hurt my back and realized I was little grumpy and my self esteem was taking a hit. However, I really didn't feel I had the time.  (that's a lie).  I have time.   I just had to say no to maybe messing around on Facebook, or no to a load of laundry here and there to invest in 55 minutes of my day to working out . I am doing the Body Rock TV 30 day challenge in case your interested.  I said yes to fitness.

All this to say- when you say yes to everything and everyone... you might actually being saying to no to some really good things in your life.

We Aren't Charlie's Angels...But We DO make a Great Team

It's been a journey this past year and a good one!  Along the way I have been blessed enough to incorporate the talents and personalities of some amazing women.  God put these precious people in my path and it's been quite a trip.
I want to formally introduce this team and show you EXACTLY what we are doing and who you will be working with when you call!

Shelly Wood (Teen Photographer)

 She is our Epic Teen photographer and co-wedding photographer.   She specializes in photographing teens 11-16 years old.  You will also see her when we photograph weddings!!
If you have never thought about having your young teen professionally captured, it's a great time to think about it!

Erin Bremer Newborn Photographer

 Erin specializes in newborn photography, check her out at Erin Bremer Photography. She also assists on on our high senior shoots and weddings!  She is priceless and absolutely gifted in this area.  So, if you call for a newborn shoot, this is the beautiful person you are going to find. 

Gia! Hair specialist and extraordinaire! 

Bailee, make up artist and miracle worker

We also have the super powers of Bailee and Gia!  These girls have seriously MASTERED wedding day hair and make up.  They are best friends, fun, sweet and so crazy talented.  Every bridal party they have worked with has fallen in love with them.  They are efficient and working weddings with them is seamless.  You can check out some of the work they have done with me at www.amberjphoto.com

High school senior make up artist

Glory is our most recent addition to this fantastic world of styled photography.  Glory accompanies us on our senior styled shoots and make our soon to be high school seniors look absolutely stunning!!!  Check out her work with me here: http://amberjseniors.com/2014/07/14/senior-portraits-gabby-style-in-thacher-park-ny-senior-portrait-artist/

Hi. This is me and my smolder look. 

Amber, owner and head photographer of Amber J Photography

Owning a business has been a blessing and a journey!  If you didn't see it by now, we specialize in high school senior portraits, weddings and teens.
Please visit our landing page to and take a look around. www.amberjphotog.com





Now you have met our entire team of amazingness.  I hope we see you soon!!!!

Chasing Dreams With Bloodied Knuckles: {Upstate NY Wedding and High School Senior Photographer}

Don't you love all the cute quotes you see on Instagram and Facebook?
- "Be Fearless"
-"Do something every day that scares you"
-"Follow Your Passion"

Amazing right?  Those quotes stir something inside you and you just want to fist pump to the sky..."FOLLOW MY PASSION"!    You picture yourself running the steps in sync with Rocky

Balboa ( don't act like you haven't done that).
That fist pump then slams into reality and it scrapes and bloodies your knuckles.

Because let's be honest
- "You aren't good enough"
- "EVERYONE is a photographer, you are no different"
- "You hate failure"

So, I am going to share a little story with you. It's not my story, but you will see its application.  Let me comfort you right now with these few simple things:
- You will fail when you try something new.
- There will always be someone better than you.
- You will get frustrated.
- You will get hurt.
- You will accomplish what you set out to do, but first, you have to set out to do it.
- Your failure will be your greatest asset.
- Bloody knuckles will be worth it
May I introduce Jill Kemerer.  This lovely woman (and friend) has been writing brilliant stories for years.  No one understands failure, rejection and accomplishment more than she does.  I am going to wish her congratulations on being a PUBLISHED author by Harlequin. It still gives me goosebumps that she did it.

Read on: Blog post by (PUBLISHED author) Jill Kemerer.

Celebration Time! I SOLD!!

I can't believe I'm writing this post. 821 blog posts and I'm finally writing it.

I sold a book to Harlequin Love Inspired!!!

Yes!! I. Sold. A. Book.

The current title is Her Wedding Hero and will be released in April 2015! Amazing!!

I don't know about you, but whenever I hear a writer sold her first book, I'm curious about her writing path. Let's go back, shall we?

1992 - I throw a romance novel across the wall, mutter "I can do better than that," and decide I will. I write twenty-two pages of a dippy romance where the hero and heroine have no problems and go on fun dates. It hits me that characters need problems or the book ends at page twenty-three.

1996 - Browsing a bookstore, I find How to Write a Romance and Get It Published by Kathryn Falk. I'm mesmerized. A manual? For a job I never dared dream about? I'm in! I devour this thick book.

1997 - Nine months pregnant with our first child, I quit my job. My husband and I agree I'll be a stay-at-home-mom. I announce my next career will be writing romance novels for--wait for it--Harlequin!

2004 - After years of putting writing on hold, I'm itching to get back into it. Our youngest will be in pre-school soon. I join a local writing group and get very excited about our assignments. Publishing feels real again.

2007 - I join RWA. My youngest will enter Kindergarten, so I begin writing full time. I finish a romance novel--a delightful kidnapping/private island contemporary. Imagine my giddiness when Harlequin Romance requests a partial! This is it! I'm on my way! (On a side note, I believe this was when I said, "I'll give it a year. If I don't get published, I'll find a job." *snort*)

To read her full blog post:  http://nblo.gs/YkSYw

Are You Going To Be A Jerk To My Wedding Party? - And Other Questions You Really Want To Ask

It’s the conversation within the conversation.  There are concerns and questions every potential couple hunting for their wedding photographer want to ask, but don’t.

I get the usual list of questions google provides everyone who searches “Questions To Ask Your Wedding Photographer”, but what I find is that most couples want to make sure their photographer is going to be fun, engaging and easy to work while producing some amazing images!

To put it simply you want to know that "we play nice with others".

we like happy bridal parties!

You ask: “How do you handle large bridal parties and how long will it take?”

What you are really asking: “Are you going to be a jerk to my friends and family and are we going to get to cocktail hour?”

I answer: Your friends and family WILL have fun. I understand having their pictures taken will not be the highlight of their day.  We have found a way to keep it lighthearted and easy while quickly mastering the speed and agility of taking photographs in time for cocktail hour.

I make no promises about not being in any photos 

You Ask: “So my friends get a little crazy, is that ok?”

What you are really asking:  “Are you going to get really annoyed with our best man who likes to play practical jokes and tends to be the life of the party?”

My Answer: Not at all. These are your friends and it’s about your day. BUT! If your best man is going to play a practical joke on us, be very sure we have retribution rights.

But Jason had an awesome speech!

You Ask: “We have a super large family and bridal party, really large. Can you handle that?”   

What you are really asking?  “Can you gather up our family in a timely manner so that we get all the pictures and still get to the reception before midnight?”

My Answer: Oh never fear. We possess this super power!  What is this super power? It’s communication. I have a plan all laid out with you and your family before the big day that gets everyone ready and posed for action. Never fear!

Well, that's just shameless actually.

 You Ask: What's your style?

What you really want to ask?  Are you going to make us do weird and uncomfortable poses  We aren't really into that.


I answer: My style is a mixture of photojournalism and making you feel comfortable enough to capture your special moments without making them feel staged. No fancy yoga poses and staring off into space, but we gently guide you through a few ideas and capture them as they happen.

(ok the pic to the left was staged)

To put it simply, our job is to create a memory within a memory.  We want you to love your images and you aren't going to love them if it's not fun, professional and done in a timely manner.    We can even play nice if your bridal party is chased by zombies...

This image gave me an idea for all future bridal parties....that's coming soon. These chicas were superheroes.  They were gorgeous, beautiful, fun superheroes. 

What are some questions YOU have for a photographer?

{Upstate NY Wedding Photographer } - The Nightmares Have Begun!

The bad dreams have started. I am sure they begin because I am so passionate about what I do that my thoughts, fears and ideas don't necessarily shut down just because I fall asleep.

I dream a lot and usually it’s nothing worth remembering. Half of the time my dreams don’t make sense, but wedding season is upon us and the nightmares have started! What do they consist of? I am so glad you asked, because I feel I need to talk about it.
For instance I dream that I arrive at bridal suite at noon which would be fine if I wasn’t supposed to be there at 10. Then there is that great moment when I go to capture THE shot and realize my camera battery has died and I have no back up.
I don’t have a flash and the camera won’t focus in the super dark caverns style church or maybe I get lost and I can’t find the church or…
- I have the wrong date.
- All the images turn out dark…or don’t show up at all.
- My camera just stops working.
- I show up in my what I slept in the night before.
- I forget shoes
- I completely miss the ceremony.
-I fall
-I fall into water (don't ask)
The odd thing is that my scariest dreams in real life is having someone chase me.(No I didn't like hide and seek as a child).  So far no one has legit chased me at a wedding. I wake up in terrifying panic only be washed over with sweet relief when reality clears the haze.  It’s crazy! So far NONE of that has even come close to true. Therefore it results in checking and double checking and triple checking EVERYTHING.
Now that I have expunged my inner turmoil, you may continue on with your life without further interruption.

Sweet dreams!

{Upstate NY Wedding Photographer } Singing In your Car Sounds Great..Until You Turn the Radio Off

Just like a DIY wedding sounds great...until you actually have to do it.
Let's face it.  We are all rockstars when we are singing in our own car.  Please, I'm all Christina Aguilera until Christina gets turned down...then I'm very Amber Johnsish and trust me we sound nothing alike.
As a wedding photographer, I LOVE wedding details.  I cherish seeing how much thought and time as gone into the wedding itself.  I also can't imagine how much time it must take to pull off a truly DIY kind of weddding.

Do you love the idea of A DIY (Do it yourself ) wedding, but everything you touch is Pinterest Gone Bad .Those Pinterest ideas that look so great on your board and then  scream catastrophe and ineptitude in real life.

Perhaps you barely have enough to time to find your own wedding dress much less wrap each fork and knife in burlap and tag it with sweet sentiments, but you just love the weddings that produce such rustic detail. Oh the quandary! 

One venue in upstate NY is making a DIY wedding feasible with out necessarily doing it yourself.  Sound contradictory? Not at all.  If you LOVE the look of a DIY but there is no way in the real life you have the time, patience or perhaps the dexterity in your fingers to pull of such a task, then Maple Shade Farm has the answer.  
Jay and Abby Wilson have made Maple Shade Farm into a wedding venue people adore from their rustic details, kind personalities and overall attention to everything and anything a couple needs! They did not stop there. They brought DIY to life with possibility by creating a branch business MSF Vintage.

MSF Vintage can handle any detail the bride just does not have time to do.

*hand written place settings, numbers, tags for favors.
*seating charts
*creative table settings such as wrapped silverware, favors from scratch or an idea that just needs extra hands to come together)
*menu cards
*chalkboards
*directional signs
*decorated center piece holders from old wine bottles to coffee cans.
*late night snacks...s'more kits anyone????
*Of course anything such as flowers, candy bars, dessert tables, Photo Booth props... They also rent vintage furnishings and accessories to make your wedding one-of-a kind on or off the farm!
You can find MSF on facebook here
You can certainly have a DIY wedding looking wedding without doing everything yourself.

Upstate NY Wedding Photographer: Post Wedding Blues and a Little Help from FRIENDS

"I'm actually really sad it's over," said one of my brides when I saw her a couple of weeks after her wedding. "it's kind of sad to think I'm done planning my wedding."

She wasn't alone, the more people I asked the more I realized it happens to a lot of brides.  You have spent a year or more planning your wedding day, it makes sense that there is a sense of loss when it all comes to an end.

So I asked a few couples what they did to combat the "post wedding day blues". (The last idea is my favorite).

1. Get out of town.

Even if it's not a big honeymoon. Go somewhere and rest and enjoy each other.  Talk about the day, relive it and laugh through all of the moments you remember.

2. Gifts. Indulge in unwrapping all those amazing wedding gifts or splurge on a fantastic date night with some of the money you probably received. 

3. Help someone else plan their wedding.  I have known two brides two have actually turned their penchant for wedding planning into a business. 

4. Fill your time with something else.  You have spent so much time planning your wedding it's time to indulge in a new activity.   Volunteer for special needs, start blogging, take up some sort of new hobby.  

5.  Get help. If it's serious depression where you realize you aren't eating well and can't seem to truly function, it may be something you need to seek extra help for in a friend, another bride who has dealt with the same feelings or professional help.  There are actual groups out there for this very thing believe it or not. 

6. Relive the moments in photographs, videos and candids from your professionals as well as your friends oh and start writing thank you cards...that will take also help you refocus on what is truly important.  Your friends and family just spent months indulging in you.  Thank them. 

7. Host a post wedding brunch.  If your family and friends are local - you can always have a post wedding event.  I have heard some people host brunches, dinners, cook outs, camping trips... you name it.   Do something to celebrate your new family bond and spousal connection.  Have fun!

8.  Do This: Smile and enjoy the time you spent planning your wedding and sometimes it's ok to just put your wedding dress back on and pull a Monica Gellar :)